My Mommy Moment

I learned my lesson.

I, Alison, had my mommy moment.  The one that makes you shake your head and vow to never repeat it.


Here's what happened:

We decided to go out to dinner.  Now, normally, I bring our big diaper bag and I only use two things out of it.  This even includes the trips where we go out around town and come back home 2 hours later.  I hardly ever use it.  So, I decided that since Ellie was just changed (and rarely goes during dinnertime) and we'd only be gone for an hour at the most, I would put a few things in my purse to make life easier.  I only grabbed the wipes (for nasty eating fingers), a few eating necessities, and a toy to keep her occupied if we needed to.


Dinner started out great.  We sat down, Ellie started coloring and was flirting with everyone around, and we all ordered our dinner.  Well, just after we got our food, guess who decided to start going the big #2.  No, not Nick. 

It should be known that our daughter does not take pooping lightly.  It's a full-on, and LOUD, grunting, groaning, moaning, sighing, red-faced moment.  I immediately started shaking my head. 

Nick, oblivious, just said, "it's fine.  We'll change her." 
To which I said, "No, I forgot to pack a diaper!"

So, Ellie continues on for about 10 minutes.  A little longer than normal.  But, I also figured that maybe she'd be okay.  We'd just eat fast and rush home.  She never usually complains about a dirty diaper.  HA!

She was looking uninterested in eating and wanted to get up.  That's when I knew she had to be changed, somehow.

Normally her B.Ms are pretty solid.  I figured I could clean her up a bit and then flush things down the toilet and she could sit in her mostly clean diaper for another 15 minutes (until we got home).  Plus, the diaper wasn't wet, just dirty.

I take her to the bathroom and what do you know.  NO CHANGING TABLE. Not the first time this has happened, mind you.  Well, Ellie's jacket had two layers to it.  So I decide to layer out one layer for her head and one for her bottom - to make up for the fact that there is no changing table and I also don't have a changing pad.  I open her diaper and there is a mass of gross-ness.  To shorten the story and make less gruesome for you all, it was runny and massive.  Leaked on her coat.

I wasn't going to use the diaper again.  So, I cleaned her up with all the toilet paper and wipes I had, wrapped the gross diaper (note: we use cloth diapers) in the gross jacket, and put her pants back on.  Yes, I made my daughter go commando.

We put the other half of the jacket under her seat just in case she wet herself.  At least it wouldn't get everything else gross.

We asked for the check and what do you know, the power went out.  Of course this happened after I said, "Well, is there anything else you want to throw at us tonight?"

Luckily, someone knew how to work an old card scanner so we were able to dodge out of there with our diaper-less and mess-free baby.

Luckily, she also decided to wet herself in the car with the jacket underneath.  No major mess and easy clean up at home.


All this to say that that was not my best mommy moment.  I'm not perfect.  And, now I know to not leave without a diaper.  Just one would have sufficed.

Parenthood: Opinions

*This wasn't originally supposed to be an incredibly long post, but it is.  An incredibly long rant.  You've been warned.*

One thing about parenting that can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and/or disheartening is all of the opinions the entire world has about parenting.

Before having Ellie I had thought I had all of my parenting desires and plans laid out.  I thought that everything I wanted to do I knew and somehow it would all just fall into place.  Well, you don't really get to decide exactly when and how everything falls into place.  Nor do you get to decide exactly what it is you want right away.  Okay, maybe you do get a few things exactly the way you want them, but still...

So what do you do when you have questions about parenting or baby gas relief or even just packing a diaper bag?  Well, you research.  And yes, I did research what to pack in a diaper bag.  Don't lie, you did (or will do) it too.  And the place to research is: the internet.

The internet.

It's amazing.  It can give you the best of the best sites to find information on everything you may need to know.  It can give you advice on books to read, techniques to try, the best products to buy, and so much more. 

But, it can also tell you the exact opposite.

I've learned that you almost HAVE to take everything you read, and even hear, with a grain of salt. 

I'm a part of a mom group on Facebook that is meant to be a place for other moms to ask questions and get support on many, many parenting things.  It's been very nice to hear of other moms going through exactly what I'm going through.  It's also quite comforting, and I'm going to be brutally honest here because we are all this way, to know that some moms are going through the same things you are, but much worse.  It makes you take a different look on it all and realize that you really don't have it that bad. 

Recently I've been doing a lot of reading and research on sleeping. 
It's one of the most discussed issues of moms. 

Things like: "Why won't my baby sleep through the night?" "How do I get my baby to not nurse to sleep?" "Should I let my baby cry it out?" "How do you get your baby on a schedule?"

These questions litter baby forums.  It's terrible too because there are so many parents with all different experiences and opinions on what you should do because it's what they did.

You can decide you want your baby to decide his/her own schedule by following their cues, you can start a strict eat/sleep schedule for your baby so you can plan your life/outings around your baby, or you can do a combination of both.  There are books, articles, forum posts, and more books on each of these.

Babywise, Happiest Baby on the Block, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, The Baby Sleep Book, and so much more.  It's overwhelming!  Many people claim that each one worked wonders for them and their little ones.  But how do you even start?

I keep fighting the urge to do any of these, or finish reading any of them, and just let Ellie make her own schedule.

I would love for her to have a set schedule, but I don't want to set a strict schedule because it entails working incredibly hard and listening to her cry and cry and cry.  That's not what I want to do.

I would love for her to just set her own schedule, but I know that right now, it tends to jump back and forth between a really nice and easy day to a difficult no-nap and very sleepy day. 

I would love for her to be like other "perfect" babies who sleep through the night at 2 1/2 months or are able to take a bottle no problem, but I want her to be her own self.  I want her to be my own child who does her own things her own way.  Although this no bottle thing is going to drive me crazy.

It's frustrating.  I agree with different aspects of different books/theories and yet I don't want to follow one specific idea because it tends to be in the extreme.  

We don't co-sleep because our bed just isn't big enough, Nick is a really sound sleeper, and I'm just not entirely comfortable with that all the time.  I'd rather just have the occasional nap together on the bed.
I also don't let her cry for more than a few minutes because I don't like listening to her scream when I know I can easily soothe her back to sleep.  Plus, many people state that you can't spoil a baby and they won't get attached to the idea of screaming for you to calm down them down. But, many people will claim the exact opposite of those statements.

Do you see where it gets frustrating, confusing, and annoying?

No babies are the same, so why are we saying that they are?  Why are we trying to get babies to be on the same schedule? 

I don't know and I'm trying not to get carried away with everyone's opinions.

For now, all I need to know is that my daughter is happy, well-fed, and alive.  Everything else will just fall into place over time, right?  I'll just keep telling myself that.

Survival of the Mommy

Having a baby is hard work.  And yes, I know that everyone says that.  I'm just reiterating the fact.

Between my stubborn baby who doesn't want to fall asleep when she is tired, cloth diapering, and 2 am diaper changes/feedings, there is a lot that can make a mom go insane. 

So, this is how I survive the late nights, too many feedings, and crying (both from mom and baby):

1.  Netflix & Hulu.  In other words: TV shows.  I can't tell you how tired I get in the middle of night while feeding her.  Not to mention that the hormones released while breastfeeding are also supposed to make you tired.  One way to combat this is to watch something to take my mind off of being tired.  This works pretty well, especially when they're incredibly cheesy and dramatic.  Such as: Grey's Anatomy, New Girl, Walking Dead, ANTM, Parenthood, Call the Midwife... and of course Parks and Rec and reruns of The Office.

2.  Food.  Now that my appetite is back full force and then some, I eat a lot.  Or at least I feel like I eat more.  Late night feedings are much more comfortable with a snack to go with it.  Especially when it's something like ice cream.

3.  Baby gear.   Sometimes I wouldn't know what I would do without my baby carrier.  Ellie LIVES off of movement.  Nick and I are constantly bouncing on the yoga ball with her to get her to sleep.  It's the one thing that can almost always calm her down.  Sometimes her swing will calm her down, but (I'm watching her do this now) sometimes it just keeps her content while she fights her closing eyes and sleep.  Seriously.  She will take forever to fall asleep even though she is SO tired.  It's terrible.  She gets her stubbornness from her mother.  Ugh.

4.  Showers.  Showers are amazing.  It's one of the few times where I can just relax and refresh my sore breastfeeding muscles. 

5.  Blogging.  You guys keep me sane.  I may not blog that much these days, but there are still drafts and ideas floating around.  Someday I'll get to finishing them.  Reading blogs and just having blog friends keep me occupied and my brain flowing.  I'm brainstorming a new blog layout as we speak (or you read and I type).

6.  Support.  I can't even begin to say how wonderful it has been to have a great support system around.  My grandparents have been so amazing with all of this and are constantly helping out.  We have been blessed with such great people in our lives!  Nick has been a pretty wonderful husband and dad as well.  He takes care of nighttime diaper changes even when I told him not to. 

7.  This face.  It's hard to be stressed and frustrated when this little girl has a face like this.