Life Lessons: Communication

I don't profess to be a master of marriage or relationships or anything like that.  I'm only 25, have been married for almost 2 years, and am still learning how to live happily with my husband (compromises and all).

On that note, I do know a few things that can make or break a relationship. Maybe not break, but could seriously damage.

One such thing is communication. 

See, I grew up in a family where communication wasn't our strong suit (it's still an ongoing process).  Nick, however, grew up in a family that was very communicative.  Can you see how our first fight came about?  Well, if you can't, it ended up with me not being able to really tell Nick what was going on in my heart/head and him just wanting to know what I was feeling/thinking.

Eventually, after my womanly emotions frustration died down, I was able to talk to Nick.  I'm sure our fight was about something stupid.  They happen, so what?  But we, okay mostly me, have become much better communicators and we know how important it is to get things out right away before they blow up.

Because they can, and will, blow up.

I've seen this happen.  I've been part of this communication catastrophe.

So many people will agree and say: "oh yes, communication is SO important in a relationship", but why don't they ever practice it?

If you can't tell the person who you are with that there is something wrong, then why are you there with that person?  If you can't trust the person to understand what your feelings are, then maybe there is something wrong.   And most importantly, if you can't have a serious conversation with the person without either you or him/her getting completely frustrated and in turn pushing the important conversation aside, then you both need to re-evalute yourselves.

There's no cure to poor communication, but one thing you can do is to just TRY it.  Talk to the other person about how difficult it is to communicate (either for you or for them).  People need to communicate.  That's why God invented vocal chords, hand gestures, sign language, etc.

Don't take this rant the hard way.  I just needed to get it out.  I'm a terrible communicator and I'm STILL trying to learn how to share my feelings with Nick and other people in my life.  It's not easy if you aren't used to it already, but the end result is so worth it.  In the end you'll have a sense of trust and respect with the other person.


Just try it.

The end.

And I wait..

I'm sitting here in front of my computer playing the waiting the game.

I hate the waiting game.

Nick and his friend left yesterday to do some winter mountain climbing and now I'm sitting here waiting for the phone call saying "Hi honey, we're on our way home now and in one piece!"  It never comes when I want it to. 

That's where they're climbing.

 
My phone rings throughout the day and each time I think "YAY! They're done early!  I don't have to worry anymore!"  But reality bites me in the butt and says "Ha! It's just someone else. Try again later."

I know my husband is smart, safe, and cautious.  I would trust him with my life, but I still worry.  I can't help it.  It's that motherly-wifely disease that I have contracted and each time he leaves to go on an adventure I worry.  Not all adventures, though.  If he's hiking a trail I know or snowshoeing I don't worry because it's not as dangerous or scary to me.

I think it also comes with my overly-cautious self.  I tend to think about all of the possibilities and disasters.  It's awful, sometimes.




On that note, I really dislike people who walk/bike on the road without some sort of light or reflector. 

To get to our house you have to drive on country roads.  Nick and I have almost hit countless people because they have not (a) carried a flashlight or some sort of lighted thing with them or (b) worn visible or proper reflectors. 

I understand having to walk your dog or bike to/from work, but I think you can spare your life by just investing in some nice reflectors or bike lights if you are going to walk/bike on a road with little to no shoulder.  I don't want to kill you, but when it's pitch black outside and I can't see you because you blend in with the trees and there is a car coming at me with blinding lights I may have no choice.  I'd never hit a person.  I'd drive my car into the ditch first and/or slam on the brakes, but I'm just trying to make a point here.

Left: GOOD!  Middle: Also good, but not plausible.  Right: BAD! Where are you?!

Alright.  I'm done with the hatred and I must go further distract myself from my thoughts.  So for now..

 

Jumbled Friday Thoughts

You know what happened last weekend that I am ashamed of?  I, Alison, got stressed out over Christmas.

Seriously, how could this have happened?  I blame a mixture of woman emotions, not enough sleep, and not enough endorphins in my body (in other words, not enough exercise).  It happened when I was finishing up the last of the Christmas present shopping and I couldn't figure out what to get two people.  I started to get a little frustrated because I just wanted to go home and not shop anymore.  Nick pointed out how ridiculous my being stressed out was and later - of course later because I too stubborn in the moment - I realized that a person, mostly me, should NEVER get stressed out about Christmas!  Presents are NOT what Christmas is about.  It's about the birth of Jesus Christ!  It's about giving, not oh-my-gosh-I-have-to-get-a-gift-for-everyone this year.

I lost it for one day.  The first time EVER and the last time.  I just needed to confess that to you all.  

via

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On the topic of being bad, I'm bad at deep cleaning the house - you know, scrubbing the fridge, dryer-sheeting the trim, q-tipping the window tracks, vinegaring the floor... all those typical Pinterest deep cleaning recipes.  My excuse?  It's a rental.  I'll have to do it when we move out, so why do it now?  I did clean the fridge the other day, though.  Go me!

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Want to know what blew my mind this week?  The fact that this guy, better known as Mose for all you Office geekos and nerdos, is the co-creator of Parks and Rec.  Crazy.

 Did you know that?  Now you know! - 10 points and a gold star to whoever knows what that's from.

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You know what I'm frustrated about?  People and their current thoughts on gun control.  On NPR the other day there were people talking about having teachers being armed with concealed weapons - after the right training of course.  Honestly, I don't see how that is going to work well.  First off, having guns around children all the time just sounds like a bad idea.  There are a number of cases where kids find guns - even by police parents - and they end up hurting somebody else or themselves.  Secondly, I really don't think the answer to gun violence is to have more guns. 

I also don't believe that we need to ban guns in order to find peace in this world.  It's just not going to work.  People are people and they will find ways to get what they want.  That's why there are still drugs everywhere, even though they're illegal.   

And now, I'll stop ranting.

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Look at this fabulous thrift store find I got last week.

Mmmm, so nice and cozy!  I think I want it around my house all year round, not just Christmas time.  That's okay, right?

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On that warm and fuzzy note, enjoy this lovely Christmas song to end your week and begin your holiday weekend!

You must know that while this song is a joke, Nick and I still laugh each time we hear it.