Thursday, May 30, 2013

Life Lessons: Communication

I don't profess to be a master of marriage or relationships or anything like that.  I'm only 25, have been married for almost 2 years, and am still learning how to live happily with my husband (compromises and all).

On that note, I do know a few things that can make or break a relationship. Maybe not break, but could seriously damage.

One such thing is communication. 

See, I grew up in a family where communication wasn't our strong suit (it's still an ongoing process).  Nick, however, grew up in a family that was very communicative.  Can you see how our first fight came about?  Well, if you can't, it ended up with me not being able to really tell Nick what was going on in my heart/head and him just wanting to know what I was feeling/thinking.

Eventually, after my womanly emotions frustration died down, I was able to talk to Nick.  I'm sure our fight was about something stupid.  They happen, so what?  But we, okay mostly me, have become much better communicators and we know how important it is to get things out right away before they blow up.

Because they can, and will, blow up.

I've seen this happen.  I've been part of this communication catastrophe.

So many people will agree and say: "oh yes, communication is SO important in a relationship", but why don't they ever practice it?

If you can't tell the person who you are with that there is something wrong, then why are you there with that person?  If you can't trust the person to understand what your feelings are, then maybe there is something wrong.   And most importantly, if you can't have a serious conversation with the person without either you or him/her getting completely frustrated and in turn pushing the important conversation aside, then you both need to re-evalute yourselves.

There's no cure to poor communication, but one thing you can do is to just TRY it.  Talk to the other person about how difficult it is to communicate (either for you or for them).  People need to communicate.  That's why God invented vocal chords, hand gestures, sign language, etc.

Don't take this rant the hard way.  I just needed to get it out.  I'm a terrible communicator and I'm STILL trying to learn how to share my feelings with Nick and other people in my life.  It's not easy if you aren't used to it already, but the end result is so worth it.  In the end you'll have a sense of trust and respect with the other person.

Just try it.

The end.


  1. Amen. To all this. I'm still learning too, after 3+ years...maybe someday we'll all be perfect but until then... ;)

  2. I think that's cool the Nick is really communicative. My husband is not. Its just not how he grew up. We are still learning how to fight correctly with each other.

  3. I'm just like you! My family was never all that great at expressing feelings whereas my husband's family was the total opposite! we've had many "fights" because of that difference. It takes time! we're going on 4 years of marriage and every now and then we still have arguments.



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